Archive for the ‘Acceptance and Non-Judgment’ Category

Porthole Judgment

Thursday, July 7th, 2011

If you had been a fly on the wall of my house 17 years ago, your assessment of me, of my character, would have been different to the one I imagine you would have today.

With two young children ( 7 and 5) in tow, we had just moved to Sydney after an international stint spanning 11 years (three years in London, three years in Ohio – including both Cleveland and Columbus- and two and a half years in Wellington, New Zealand). I had a husband who travelled for business almost every week, for at least three days, and it was my sole responsibility to find and choose schools and houses, and to settle the children into each new culture. (more…)

Want Or Should?

Thursday, June 30th, 2011

There is a difference between love, and duty and obligation.

When we are in a state of unconditional love we always do what we believe to be right both for the other person and for ourselves. What we believe to be the appropriate course of action may coincide with the desires (or even demands) of the other, or it may not. (more…)

Can We Handle World Peace?

Friday, June 24th, 2011


Imagine for a moment if all our collective prayers were answered
and somehow the gods bestowed world peace upon us. I know, it’s difficult to
even conceive of, let alone living it.

 

World peace would entail not only no wars, but it could tolerate
no bickering, no angry outbursts, not even (seemingly in-the-moment
justifiable) low level road rage. It would go so far as to require no negative
or uncharitable judgment of others, no unkind words or acts – or thoughts for
that matter.

 

This would need an absence of dishonesty (there is no unkindness
like deceit), infidelity, impatience, greed, hatred, and all that other good
stuff that seems to numb our pain.

 

Could we handle the responsibility, when the world finally got its
act together and actually achieved the holy grail of global peace, of not being
the one to shatter the miracle of millennia with some petty and mindless act of
self-justification or self-righteousness?  

 

Because, let’s face it, war starts in these small and seemingly
insignificant personal acts in which we ALL indulge on a daily basis. If we all
felt fulfilled, if we were all able to accept everything as exactly as it’s
meant to be (including that slowpoke driver who pulls out on you from a side
street and then dodders along until they suddenly speed up just enough for them
to catch the caution light and pass through the intersection, leaving you to
sit through the red light!) war could not blight our world.

 

There was an advertisement awhile back in Australia of a man who
snuck out in his lunch hour for a rendezvous with his wife. He is shown getting
out of her car with bits of hay all over his business suit, and he is literally
floating down the street with a beatific smile on his face. That man, in that
moment, I reckon would be incapable of war, in any of its forms – small or
large. 

 

Good healthy food, good loving unselfish sex, laughter, whatever
brings joy and fun, creative pursuits, acceptance, flexibility to go with the
flow – if we all had these all the time, war would disappear. Paradoxically, it
is almost to have these, while we exist in a constant state of war (with
family, neighbors, other nations, or just other drivers).

 

 In her book Telos, Dianne Robbins writes:

 

All life needs peace for
evolvement to take place. Without peace, species just struggle for survival,
and never have “time” to add to the strength and wisdom that they
have accumulated. So peace is a necessary factor for evolvement, and evolvement
is a necessary factor for the continuation of the species.

 

The conundrum of peace is not solved at a global level. It is
personal, individual and it grows from a collection of small, but immensely
significant, moments and choices.

 

Surely we get it now. It’s time to choose peace.

The Miracle of Change

Monday, May 23rd, 2011

The husband of a friend of mine walked out a few years ago. My friend struggled with all the obvious emotions – shock, anger, resentment, hurt, betrayal – but like most mothers I know, she never let any of this to distract her from her commitment to her children.

No matter how much was required of her, no matter how uneven the division of labour between her and their children’s father, she continued to do whatever it took to ensure her children were safe, happy and thriving. She is not a martyr or a moaner. She does it all gladly and with an open heart because, as she says, her children are her passion. (more…)

What’s Happening

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

The only things that are collapsing are those that are unsustainable.

This was the observation made by Gregg Braden at a lecture he gave in San Francisco on the weekend.  Speaking to the enormous changes and turmoil that the earth, its people, and its institutions and societies are experiencing, he argues that we are at the end of what he calls a Great World Age. Everything, he argues, that is not fit for the new age will not survive the transition. (more…)

Brilliant Failure

Wednesday, April 20th, 2011

Brilliant failures, a term coined by an organization that studies them, are those where people with all the right intention and commitment actually fail in their efforts, but then go on to recover and achieve brilliantly as a result of what they learned from their failure.

After failing to establish my career as a lawyer, largely because we kept moving countries due to my husband’s career, I decided to retrain as a journalist. Journalism, it seemed, could cross political and temporal boundaries. (more…)

Yoga, Envy and Truth

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

My beautiful yoga teacher Roxanne continually encourages us to stretch our spine as far as possible, to push out our chests, and broaden our shoulders and hips to their fullest extent, urging us to take up our full space, to move into our fullness of being.

It feels surprisingly good to open, stretch and expand my body to its full extent, and then some. Of course this is what we are meant to be doing all the time. It should come naturally to us. But as I feel the stretch and expansion of my muscles and bones it makes me realize how foreign this is for my body, and how much of the time my spine, chest and shoulders are shrunken and drooping. (more…)

The Lord’s Prayer in Aramaic

Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

I was at a concert recently in a new age church in Santa Cruz. I picked up their hymn book and found pasted in the book leaves a translation of The Lord’s Prayer from (presumably) the original Aramaic.

Given that Aramaic was the language Jesus spoke, it seems likely this is how the prayer was given to mankind before the Church jumped in and re-worked it for its own purposes. (more…)

Feminine Rising

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

It’s not just the weather that seems unsettled and unseasonal. It feels like we are experiencing cyclones, earthquakes and volcanoes not only physically but also politically, socially, and philosophically. Change is occurring rapidly and most of us are staring open-mouthed wondering what’s next. (more…)

Life Is Difficult

Sunday, February 13th, 2011

I was talking with a young mother recently. She told me that before she met her partner she thought one option open to her was to be a single mother. Knowing what she knows now though, having a much better idea of how much work a baby is, she said she’s glad she hadn’t made those life choices. Her partner is an incredibly active, and pro-active, father, yet still this young mother has been shocked by how much hard work is involved in caring for a baby.

It got me thinking about when my son was born 22 years ago. We were living in a foreign country without the usual support system provided by family and friends. The morning after I gave birth, Ian, my  husband, left for a four-day business trip. He was then away four nights a week every week for the next nine months. (more…)