There is a difference between love, and duty and obligation.
When we are in a state of unconditional love we always do what we believe to be right both for the other person and for ourselves. What we believe to be the appropriate course of action may coincide with the desires (or even demands) of the other, or it may not. (more…)
I’ve read and heard a bit about Gen Y kids, that they expect the world but aren’t prepared to do the hard work to get it. They seem to cause Baby Boomer employers quite a bit of grief.
Baby Boomers are used to being boss. They have retained their positions of authority by menacing the threat of unemployment over recalcitrant workers to get them to do whatever the bosses want and are perplexed when these threats have no visible effect on the younger ones. (more…)
The husband of a friend of mine walked out a few years ago. My friend struggled with all the obvious emotions – shock, anger, resentment, hurt, betrayal – but like most mothers I know, she never let any of this to distract her from her commitment to her children.
No matter how much was required of her, no matter how uneven the division of labour between her and their children’s father, she continued to do whatever it took to ensure her children were safe, happy and thriving. She is not a martyr or a moaner. She does it all gladly and with an open heart because, as she says, her children are her passion. (more…)
I was talking with a young mother recently. She told me that before she met her partner she thought one option open to her was to be a single mother. Knowing what she knows now though, having a much better idea of how much work a baby is, she said she’s glad she hadn’t made those life choices. Her partner is an incredibly active, and pro-active, father, yet still this young mother has been shocked by how much hard work is involved in caring for a baby.
It got me thinking about when my son was born 22 years ago. We were living in a foreign country without the usual support system provided by family and friends. The morning after I gave birth, Ian, my husband, left for a four-day business trip. He was then away four nights a week every week for the next nine months. (more…)
As Wikileaks founder Julian Assange sits in solitary confinement in a London jail without charge (while the Swedish Government appeal the granting of bail) we are all wondering what is really going on here.
Could it be that Assange will be made the poster boy for the establishment’s reaction to, and treatment of, the brave souls who dare to challenge the status quo? Is this what anyone with the courage and fortitude to question governments, corporations and other powerful organizations can expect for their commitment to truth and transparency? (more…)
Relationships are, to use my friend Janie’s vernacular, slippery little suckers. Most of the time the people in our life are loving, supportive and a source of joy. Sometimes our relationships go awry. And sometimes we have no idea why, what or where it all went south.
We have all been there. We are tootling happily along and then suddenly, out of nowhere, someone in our life tells us they are offended at something they claim we said or did, and as a result it is all over. The friendship, they say, is done! (more…)
The road inland from Santa Cruz, where I’m staying, is a winding highway through a mountain range. I’m getting to know both the road, and the habits of the local drivers, well.
I’ve noticed, that unlike many Australian drivers, they don’t get angry at the slow drivers in the fast lane. They don’t flash their lights, blast their horns, or ride their tails. They just quickly and quietly change lanes, go around them and then overtake. They don’t make a fuss, but nor do they let these obstacles hold them back or distract them. (more…)
I met up yesterday with an old friend who I haven’t seen for 10 years. We used to live in Singapore together. We would spend our time with our kids round the pool, chatting and enjoying being with people from a whole range of different countries but funnily enough, all having the same problems.
That’s because most of our problems stem from our relationships. Our relationships are the thorn in all our sides. (more…)
It is not often you come across a truly profound idea but recently I read this passage in a book called The End of Your World by Adyashanti and it has stayed with me since. It deals with what it really means when we tell the ‘truth’ :
“To tell what is true within ourselves is not to tell what we think; it is not to tell our opinion. It is not to dump the garbage can of our mind onto somebody else. All of that is illusion, distortion, projection…Truth is not telling our beliefs about things. That is not truth. Those are ways we actually hide from truth.’ (more…)
I recently watched a public television documentary about the experiences of gay men and women coming out to their parents. It was both heartbreaking and heartwarming.
So many tears shed because of the fear of being rejected by the people they love most in the world, at an age – usually late teens – when they need that love and acceptance most, as they are launching themselves out into the world. (more…)